Have you ever wanted to just get on a plane and see new places but just can’t seem to find the extra coin to make it happen?

Well, if you have a computer or lap top with a built in web cam with  access to WI-FI and a sexy, fun attitude you totally can.

About two years ago, I went to an adult lifestyle convention looking for fodder for my podcast and what I found instead was not just a sexy outlet for my inner deviant but also a way to support my family with still enough left over to do the things I love. Namely, packing a bag and seeing the world.

If you’re reading this now and I’ve caught your attention, feel free to e-mail me at  michele@curvyasfuck.com for more details.

Someone asked me today how I do my job when I have to deal with so many free loaders, perv and jerks.

Here’s the thing:

Once upon a time, I used to work for a major pharmacy chain. And during that time,  I had customers who tried to steal drugs, products, and even store shelving and carpeting. Another time, I had a guy come in to purchase his Cialis whose dick “accidentally” fell out of his pants when he reached for his wallet. And finally, I had a patient spit into my face when I refused to sell her hypodermic needles without a prescription.

So, essentially to answer the original question…YES!! There are dicks at my job, but this is true no matter where I’d work.

I just happen to be naked at this establishment.

Nothing makes me want to punch the piss out of a dude more then when they feel they have a right to be upset if a cam model doesn’t “stick” to her schedule.

Like, who died and made you the king of my minutes?

Part of the reason I even DO this job is because of the flexibility it allows me. I can parent, work another job, stay social with my peers, travel, or just lie in bed with a half empty bowl of cereal on my chest. Whatever the situation, I’ll get online when I can and when I am able and while I appreciate your loyalty it doesn’t grant you permission to be a dick to me simply because you can’t watch me when YOU are ready to do so.

Camming while you are in a relationship is a tricky pouch of puckered assholes. It’s one thing to be single and independent and no one to answer to.  It’s a completely different experience to get on cam every day and have thousands of people wanking to your image while you diddle your bits and then have to explain or even rationalize  to another person who may or may not catch butt hurt over your shows.

And while more cam girls are single than involved, it takes a special kind of dynamic to be in a relationship and keep it intact. If you’re significant other knows everything about your job and not only accepts it but does their very best to help you, support you and be your right hand fucking man…hold on to that mother fucker. They are a rare, rare breed.

A lot of guys will SAY they would totally be okay with their lady friend shoving toys in her holes in a public chat room.  However, more often than not, they would end up being total dicks about it.(Sorry guys..just telling it like it is)  Women are over sexualized on a daily basis as it is.  So imagine sitting in a chat room with a bunch of horny dudes who are expecting to be entertained no matter your mood, or feelings or what you may be going through and then after you are judged, belittled and harrassed for 3 hours you get to have the same exact shit happen to you all over again except the person making you feel those things is someone you’re dating. How much would THAT suck??

So, yeah… if you’re single and thinking about hooking up and falling  in love while you’re camming professionally, make sure you are open and honest and pick a person who thinks you’re the shit and who isn’t a jerk.  And if you’re already in one,  congrats one finding a person who isn’t a gigantic bag of dicks and keep that shit up!!

It’s exhausting to hear about how many people  think camming or sex work is not an actual job.

It’s even more frustrating that our biggest critics are viewers without tokens who DO not and WILL not contribute to the community except to drag it in the mud and talk shit about things they simply cannot afford and just don’t understand.

You see, turning ON your webcam means turning OFF everything about yourself.  And while some will interject and disagree and even say part of the reason they have done so well is because of how real they actually are..I am going to call bullshit and let the chips fall where they may.

Here are my examples:

If you are having family problems, you can’t just blurt out that your mom is facing eviction or your husband was just laid off because there will always be people who are only focused on tits and bits and who can’t maintain  a hard-on if all you’re going to talk about is how fucked your life is.

Yes, some of your ACTUAL personality will eek out..it’s inevitable.

However, If you are fighting with your spouse, you have to dry those tears good and hard and pretend you’re not bothered by the bullshit that is your personal life, and instead deal with other people’s personal shit storms instead.

And, If everyday is a struggle financially,  you can’t talk about how you hate eating Ramen or how you’re about to have your light bill cut off, because no one wants to hear that you have problems. They have a boner they can’t see past,  and you have to make it go away by sharing as little ABOUT yourself yet as much OF yourself, as possible.

We aren’t just web cam models or sex workers, it’s like we are woodworkers and architects as well because you need to craft and create a crate inside your brain that will be big enough to store the parts of your personality that others may deem unsexy.

This BULLSHIT BOX,  is where you will have store your feelings, thoughts, emotions and all your self doubts until after you say goodbye to your viewers and disconnect from the internet. Not because you can’t be yourself on cam. As a matter of fact, most guys like when you’re relatable and honest and seemingly down to earth. However, You have to do this because you need to treat every cam performance like it’s a full day on set with a film crew, producer and director yelling cut because it ISN’T real life. It IS a show. And just because there are viewers out there screaming for the realness, we also have to think about our protection and our self preservation so that instead of us just stripping ourselves raw and open and vulnerable we are also able to keep little pieces of ourselves FOR ourselves.

So, before you bring the hammer down on a cam girl for not appearing like she’s hard working and for not fulfilling ALL your needs as they arise, you better make sure your tools are heavier and more bad ass than hers because she’s been building boxes and slinging hammers for years and she’s got a mean upper swing that will smash your expectations to pieces.

1. If and when a cam girl tells you that she is sad or in a bit of a rut and may or may not need some cheering up or distracting, that does NOT mean you should offer her sex as a tissue. I know it’s hard to sometimes think about anything other than yourself, but when you see real emotion, quit trying to slip your dick into it.
2. The discussion got heated when the topic of Victoria’s Secret came up and how the company just doesn’t like fat people. After much back and forth, it was decided that the only available option would be for me to learn how to sew so that I can create a line of panties that will look exactly like the one’s they sell in VS just in a bigger size for the 60% of the female population that have some goddamn meat on their bones.
3. I think the most important thing we touched on today is how even though you will run into an occasional dip shit…there is still good in this community. And when it comes into your life, it is magical.

Thank you to every one who has rallied with me during my moodiness and stuck by me even when I’m a confusing cunt.

I love everything about you, fuckers!!

Much like we do all the time, We talked about a bunch of different shit today.

Here’s the quick abridged version:

1. Apparently some cam girls are squirting directly into containers or receptacles to collect their squirt. (why this is happening, exactly, I have no actual idea.) This kicked up the age old debate on whether squirting is an actual thing or just pee. However, I reminded everyone that in the end it doesn’t matter because the bigger issue isn’t  authenticity  but more about why you think purchasing a product covered or filled with someone’s (WHOM YOU DON’T FUCKING KNOW) bodily fluid is a good fucking idea!!
2. We attempted to school some Grey’s on how to ask for things when they are rocking a zero balance, which then spawned the phrase NO TOKENS, NO STROKIN’S.  I’m patenting that shit.
3. Butt pimples are an occupational hazard, so to speak. However, that doesn’t mean anyone should have to look at them if you find yourself with a zit covered tush. Dab some Maybelline on that bitch!!
4. I admitted how I don’t have a problem with nicknames. If you are tipping, you can call me Grandma for all I care. Grey members should either learn my actual name, my room rules or how to sit with their hands folded in their laps like good broke little bitches because it’s not what you say but how you say it and money speaks louder than words. Or something like that.
5. If you type a bunch of nonsensical gibberish I am going to assume that you are being held captive somewhere and trying to get a message out and I will do my best to alert the authorities. Or silence you…either one.